You may cringe when you hear the term “codependent relationship” because the phrase has negative connotations. But, while codependency may cause poor team dynamics and productivity disruptions, it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, codependent employees can be incredible assets to your company with a bit of attention and guidance from you. Let’s explore how.
Before we get into management strategies, let’s set a working definition of codependency. For our purposes, codependency is the deeply ingrained compulsion to do anything possible to maintain a positive relationship with another party — even at the expense of one’s own needs. Therefore, a codependent employee is someone who prioritizes people-pleasing over all else.
Unfortunately, this craving to be validated and needed by others can be problematic. The tendency may annoy or alienate coworkers. It can also tank the codependent employee’s career. At its worst, it may result in the employee completely losing their sense of self, which can lead to depression, anxiety, and workplace outbursts.
Codependents thrive on feeling like they are being helpful. But, the truth is, they often inadvertently sabotage the person they’re intertwined with, themselves, or both.
Not sure if you’ve seen codependency in the office? Here’s what it might look like:
When your employee is codependent on a coworker, they may:
When your employee is codependent on a manager (perhaps you!), they may:
Codependent employees may also take on the role of office mom or dad by organizing celebrations or bringing in treats for everyone.
Left unchecked, a codependent employee can do a lot of damage in the workplace. Fortunately, there are several things you can do to help them thrive:
Codependents need to feel like they’re useful, helpful, and competent. So, when they do well in their role, you should take the time to praise and thank them for their efforts. Often, codependents perceive that they’re not doing enough or that their work is subpar, so they’ll appreciate the recognition.
Codependents spend much of their time thinking about and tending to the needs of others, often ignoring their own wants. You can show them they are worthy of caring and consideration by reciprocating their good deeds. That could look like throwing them a birthday party, sending them flowers after a significant event, or bringing them one of their favorite treats.
Caution: Be sure to show the same kindness towards all of your team members to avoid the perception of favoritism.
Your codependent employee could have self-esteem issues and may not trust their abilities. You can help them move past their comfort zone by slowly expanding their responsibilities. Give them clear instructions on how to complete each new duty and be available to answer their questions.
When they complete the task correctly, praise them. When they miss the mark, offer support and additional guidance to help them succeed in their next attempt.
Your role as a manager is multi-faceted. Yes, you want to support and encourage your employees. But you also have to enforce company policies. Start by reminding your codependent employee about rules pertaining to break times, office gossip, and other expected behaviors. They may just need a refresher. But, if they don’t take the hint, utilize your company’s progressive discipline process as you would with any other team member.
As a company leader, you can only do so much. You’re not a therapist. So, if your employee’s behavior becomes more disruptive or they’ve indicated that they may be having a mental health crisis, it’s appropriate to refer them to the firm’s employee assistance program (EAP) for professional guidance.
We’ve developed an effective behavioral assessment to help you get to know your employees on a deeper level. Our fast, accurate personality inventory will yield insights into each team member’s work preferences, motivations, communication style, and more. With this data, you can feel more confident managing your workforce.
Our employee behavioral assessment results enable you to effectively communicate with, motivate, recognize, teach, and lead everyone on your team — including your codependent employee. That way, you can help them mitigate the adverse effects of their codependency and excel in their careers.
Try a complimentary assessment to see the results for yourself!
